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What Is BDSM? Why Do People Enjoy It?

If you prefer to be on more of the traditional and vanilla spectrum of the sex world, you would probably wonder why do people even enjoy BDSM? It looks so violent and painful! How is it even pleasurable? Well, it actually isn’t that scary. As long you have given or asked for consent, it works for you, then there’s no right or wrong to being a sexual being. That’s what makes BDSM so intriguing: participants are unapologetically pursuing their favourite pastime in the bedroom (or dungeon, for that matter) (unless, of course, that is a part of their kink). However, the question remains: what is it about BDSM that makes it so rewarding for those who participate? BDSM has actually been around for many years, centuries! A lot of BDSM ideas may seem like it’s extreme but it does have a deeper meaning to them that sometimes only be understood once you experience it. Many people see BDSM as a taboo topic but now society has started accepting it and a lot of people even admit it. Especially after movies and novels like Fifty Shades of Grey and 365 were released and sold millions of copies. 

Just to clear things up a little, BDSM is an abbreviation for Sadism and masochism (or sado-masochism) + bondage and discipline (DS subsequently understood as dominance (or domination) and submission). 

If you are interested, continue reading to learn more about BDSM!

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Terms to Know in the BDSM Scene

A scene is a BDSM event that has been previously discussed, arranged, agreed to, and conveyed. Essentially, the scene is the primary event, in which all of the discourse is put into action. When it comes to putting up a scene, there is a lot of preparation that goes into it (more on that later) to ensure that everyone feels at ease.

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Safe Word

Before a scenario starts, it is critical to establish safe terms. This is critical for a variety of reasons! One of the key reasons is that the situations may be rather dramatic. They may elicit tears, a great deal of emotion, yelling — you name it. And, most of the time, these elements are beneficial and contribute to the drama of the scenario. Having safe words lets participants feel completely secure, knowing that if things got too intense, there is always a method to halt the scene while still allowing for desired intensity. This is also useful for doms, so they know the limitations of their sub. I advocate a green/yellow/red system as well as a safe word so that there are two ways to stop and two ways to continue.

The top and bottom

The word top may be used in a variety of contexts. In terms of BDSM, however, the top is generally the person in the providing position. In other words, they are the ones who stimulate another and (in a previously agreed-upon discourse) direct their bottom through a scenario.

Similarly, the term bottom may have multiple connotations depending on the context, but in BDSM, a bottom is generally on the receiving end of all the scene awesomeness – pain, humiliation, you name it! In most scenes, it is the bottom’s responsibility to pacify the tops (once again, all of this is consented to ahead of time, and safe words are ready and available).

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Aftercare

Because of the intense nature of BDSM, it is critical to prioritise and check-in with one another. Aftercare is the purposeful period after an incident when the persons involved do what they need to do to heal any wounds, ground themselves, or “come down.” This may take the form of applying cold packs, snuggling and chatting, spending some time to yourself, smoking a joint, or having a large snack – it will be distinct and particular for each individual and may alter based on what occurred within your BDSM container. Aftercare is neither a choice nor a recommendation; it is a need. Also, keep in mind that aftercare isn’t just for bottoms or submissives – a scene may be just as emotionally difficult for doms as it is for bottoms or submissives.

A good BDSM dynamic includes pre-scene consultation or negotiation, safewords, and aftercare.

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Benefits of BDSM

Now that you know a little something about BDSM, you should know that it comes with a lot of benefits too! Now, there is almost no reason for you to not try out a little BDSM in your bedroom to spice up the intimate times with your partner!

Improves Communication 

When it comes to communication, many couples that use BDSM outperform ‘normal’ couples. Additionally, having skills such as safe words’ and distinguishing between ‘play’ and other usual relationship activities are helpful. When you and your partner communicate effectively, the body can release feel-good hormones like serotonin, making you feel happy and energetic.

Improves health

Blood flow to the brain is increased by flogging and spanking. The new blood supply floods the organs and muscles with oxygen and hormones. Meanwhile, used blood is eliminated, along with waste materials that induce weariness and, in some cases, sickness in brain cells. This cleaning process is critical for strengthening our immune systems and preparing our bodies to cope with infections. While all types of sex increase blood flow, experts emphasise that it is not the same as the thrill experienced during BDSM.

Since BDSM brings so many benefits, you might be intrigued to try some of it out. Check out Sex Toys Malaysia to explore more and find some BDSM toys for you to have fun with! Thank me later!